Three years ago when my cousin, #Kevin, turned 21 the entire family wanted to take him to Vegas and make a thing of it. Kevin, who had no desire to drink or party back then, wanted none of it. #Kyle, his younger brother, said that when he turned 21, he wanted that birthday in Vegas.
Fast forward to August 27, 2019, Kyle's 21st birthday. 10 of us had plans to go to Vegas the weekend after Labor Day, and I can't remember ever having done that family trip before. We were all looking forward to what had been a trip three years in the making. Kyle had found this restaurant called Nacho Daddy, which is famous for their scorpion shot - a shot of tequila with a deceased but completely in-tact scorpion in it. Yes, I'm pretty sure you read that correctly. Kyle wanted to go to Vegas, eat at that restaurant, and take that shot. I DON'T KNOW WHY EITHER. Regardless, we made dinner reservations at Nacho Daddy for Saturday night, followed by a tour of the Las Vegas Strip in a Hummer limo. Awesome.
Kyle, Kevin, and their parents, were driving to Vegas on Friday while the rest of us weren't arriving until Saturday. Or so it was planned.
On Friday just before noon I got a text from my #mom saying she was at the ER with my #dad. He had passed out and fallen that morning while getting ready for work. His lip was busted and he needed stitches, but was also going to have tests done. I moved around some appointments so I could be at the hospital when my mom headed out for work. Just as I arrived, my dad was having an MRI done, so I waited to see him. An ER doc came in to tell me that my dad's heart rate was a bit low and there was a chance he'd need to have a pacemaker inserted. (My dad is a heart attack survivor and he is constantly at doctors appointments to make sure he maintains his health.) I was assured that a pacemaker insertion isn't major surgery and is many times an outpatient procedure. It was determined that a pacemaker was, indeed, necessary and the cardiologist on hand was able to do it immediately. I closed my laptop, packed up my things and was quickly ushered into a different waiting room where I could wait for my dad's procedure to be done. A nurse then came to get me and snuck me into the procedure room so I could see my dad. My brother, #Jeff, happened to be on FaceTime with me, so they exchanged words as well. As the nurse walked me back to the waiting room, she must have seen the terror on my face because she assured me that my dad would be fine and everything would be okay.
To be honest, I don't think I was as terrified as I was shocked and confused. I spent the next 90 minutes or so on the phone in the waiting room. I called #Auntie Patty and #Uncle Timmy to let them know what happened and that Vegas plans would ultimately change, but by how much I wasn't sure. #Sara, called to check on me, and bless her heart, stayed with me on the phone for pretty much the duration of my wait. Talking to everyone on the phone made it easier to be by myself. My dad ended up coming out of surgery fine and I accompanied him upstairs to a tiny room where he would recuperate. He was stable, doing well, and was to be released the next day. Knowing that, I felt comfortable enough to take my flight to Vegas the next morning and represent our family, as my mom and brother decided to stay back with my dad.
Saturday in Vegas was fun. I landed about 9:30 in the morning and Uncle Timmy and #Jackie were waiting for me at the airport after having arrived an hour before. We had lunch, checked into the Linq, and napped in preparation for the evening's festivities. Jeff FaceTimed me from the hospital room as #Daddy was getting discharge instructions. All was going as planned. I had lime green trucker hats made that said 'Kyle's 21st Birthday Bash' with a scorpion on them. I passed them out at dinner and watched my baby cousin drink a scorpion. ::insert wide-eyed emoji here:: I even had my parents and Jeff on FaceTime so they could enjoy the spectacle live. We all took shots of Patron and my favorite part was that Auntie Patty did the whole thing - she never drinks! We enjoyed our limo tour of the strip while sipping champagne, and ended our night with birthday cake from Milk at the Cosmopolitan.
When I finally got back to my room, I slept so heavily. What a whirlwind 48 hours. Sunday morning we had a family brunch planned, then Jackie and I were going outlet shopping before she and my uncle boarded their flight home. I was staying in Vegas by myself until Monday - originally my parents and Jeff were also supposed to be there. We made it all the way to outlet shopping when I got a text from my brother saying my dad was in an ambulance on his way back to the hospital. His speech had been slurred and Jeff thought he was having a stroke. The next few hours were a blur. Jeff put me on FaceTime as doctors tried to get my dad to identify words and pictures on flashcards. Jackie and I were in an Uber heading back to the hotel and I couldn't hear very well or understand anything my dad was saying. Jeff clarified that they couldn't either. I decided I needed to get home ASAP, and both American Airlines and the Linq hotel worked with me to make that happen (I will frequent those businesses again for sure!). By the time we left for the airport my dad sounded normal again, thank goodness.
As I was waiting on the curb at LAX for my Uber I started feeling emotional. Within the last 14 months I had gone through two breakups; the death of my beloved Pug, Chile; a hospital scare and subsequent move to a senior home for my grandma; and now this with my dad, during the one weekend I had to look forward to in almost six months. How could one person handle all of this? Why couldn't I catch a break? For the first time in my life I felt sorry for myself, and that scared me. I'm not a pity party kind of person - for myself or for others - and the fact that I slipped into this mindset was jarring in itself.
At the hospital I was able to sit with my family and tell them all about Vegas, complete with photos and video. It felt nice just to be able to share and I'm beyond grateful that my dad's neurological functions had completely normalized. It turns out that he had what's called a TIA - a mini stroke - because he was off his blood thinner when he had the pacemaker procedure done. He is now home, resting, and on all of his necessary medications.
As for me, my temporary breakdown was just that - temporary. I would fully understand anyone going through what I did having a breakdown and getting emotional - it's warranted. But even in the toughest times we have to remember that we have a choice in our actions and reactions. What happens to us is part of life and usually we don't have control over it. But what IS within our control is how we perceive it, how we react, and whether or not we allow it to define us. The choice is always ours. I am extremely lucky that my dad is fine and I got to celebrate Kyle's 21st birthday the way we wanted. And in the end, I'm so happy that what happened to my dad happened when it did, because could you imagine it happening on his drive to Vegas on Saturday? Or in the middle of scorpion shots? Or walking through a casino? Everything happens for a reason.
This quote from Irish writer Josephine Hart may be a little dark, but it's one of my favorites and I think it's applicable here:
"Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive."
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